Monday, August 25, 2008

I Was So Bored, I Joined Shelfari

And Here's What Happened:

I unleashed one of my classic,
and extreme *ProseFreaks, just for Shelfari readers, inside my profile, and it goes like this:

The books I enjoy are like music. I'm really selective about what I read because life is way too short to waste time with a book that you're not absolutely crazy about. I do stick with mostly mainstream and popular titles. For me, it's many of the classics:
Tom Sawyer, The Catcher in the Rye, and the tried and true; a lot of the books that have been made into films, such as: The Scarlet Letter, The Bridges of Madison County, The Hunt for Red October, Apocalypse Now, Platoon, All The Pretty Horses, to name just a few.

I also love to read screenplays because they’re much faster to get through:
Moonstruck, The Fourth of July, JKF, Jackie Brown, Pulp Fiction; you gotta love Oliver Stone and Quentin Tarantino. Too many others to mention: The Godfather Sagas, great dramas, and just about every war movie you can think of. Kubric’s Full Metal Jacket, a favorite. (How can you not love a movie that inspired the song, “Me so Horny”?) A few romantic comedies/comedic movies: Monster in Law, Meet the Parents.

I’ve also authored several screenplays and my first novel,
A Death for Beauty. What can I say, it’s inspired by many of the great books that I’ve read and it’s a story that’s very close to my heart and soul--I enjoyed writing it. I love mostly literary fiction, westerns and coming-of-age stories.

Biographies/Anthologies: My favorites so far, Norman Mailer’s,
The Spooky Art. And Summers/Swan, Sinatra.

Yeah, I’m also a big Frank Sinatra fan: He's the subject of one of my screenplays. His daughter, Nancy Sinatra’s,
These Boots are Made for Walkin’, was a classic oldies hit that I love too. If only she realized that my story, some day would also become a classic. What went wrong? After all, I did make Nancy the subject of my letter, but I prosefreaked my pitch right into it, near the ending. The moment she opened that letter, and I know that she did, I swear that I felt the tectonic plates of planet Earth, shift and moan, ever-so-slightly in my direction: in the form of a curse.

Yeah, I was brash (and stupid) enough, and tried pitching my Sinatra screenplay to Nancy Sinatra ( I made a big point about how she was mentioned in it, as a baby.) but she wasn’t interested. So where did I go wrong? Well, I could hardly believe it, but I had dug deep into her website and came up with her home address in Beverly Hills. And I sent her the sweetest letter ever, trust me.

The day after she got my pitch in this gigantic certified envelope, she yanked her address off the website so fast, that I think her Webmaster is still reeling from it. Did she really think that her home address would be safe? She could thank her agent for dodging me for so long.

That was soooo wrong, but I knew it would be fun somewhere along the line. Either that or I might’ve gotten a call. (Sure thing.) Gotta work on my pitch, the screenplay is on the “dinero” folks.

Uh…still planning on selling that Sinatra story. Trust me, it’s a modern cult classic. You heard it here first.


*Prose-Freak- noun: [prohz-freek] An article or essay that begins with an innocuous opening, and then seamlessly segues into something hilarious and absurd.

2006-08; Introduced by Alberto Rios <>prōsa lit., straightforward (speech), akin to frīcian to dance]

' I never saw it coming, but by the end of the story, it blew my mind. I'd been prosefreaked.'


This PF is
extreme because I worked my shameless plug into it. Masterful.
Be proud Shelfari Reader: You’ve just been tagged by ProseFreak!

My next ProseFreak! Tag will be in RedRoom. Check it out next Monday on my new ProseFreak Literary MindBlog. It's just as ridiculous.