A New Story Structure?

If you’re the kind of writer that likes to be on the cutting-edge of publishing trends, slant your ears on this:

Today’s story openings, for authors of fiction, might not be what they once were, or should be. You know, short and sweet with no backstory, because today’s readers want stories that get right to the point. Apparently because attention spans are not what they used to be a decade ago, or anything like in the days of Aristotle, when there was nothing else to do and the public indulged in long, tedious stage plays as entertainment.

As for literature, today we can still enjoy long, tedious novels like McCarthy’s fantastic Border Trilogy. You know—like that.

Some folks, me included, still enjoy that sort of stuff, while the majority of today’s readers, like their stories condensed, and fast-paced. Therefore, a contemporary story structure, as follows:

According to today's so-called publishing standards, and according to published novelists and screenwriters, who’ve already been tried by fire, the evolution of story structure in the past decade has recently been: that proper story beginnings, are the key to publication, for first-time authors, that is.

Consider the antithesis to today’s story beginning in the recently published and highly acclaimed “The Story of Edgar Sawtelle”, by David Wroblewski.

If you haven't read it by now, check it out, and you’all come back, hear.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/03/books/chapters/chapter-edgar-sawtelle.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

Hmm…WTF. As you can see from its opening paragraphs, there’s a very mild hint as far as an inciting incident goes. I suppose that the flashback of, ‘20 tons of rolling maple that buried a man’, counts as the inciting incident. Edgar, the protagonist, is revealed by the end of the chapter, when he is born.

Not a bad opening, (...right) although I had to read it several times to understand it. (I don’t get enough sleep folks. Let’s face it, it’s either that or all the smoke from the 60’s is still affecting my brain cells.) BTW, the excerpt they use on Wroblewski's website is not the beginning chapter. They chose a more interesting, more engaging section about the dog. Good choice.

So where is all the highly touted openings, in medias res deal, and the all-important first sentence that must grab the reader by the collar, and then the follow-up with a clever, and pertinent inciting incident that supposed to address story questions, arouse curiosity, and catapult the book into the annals of literary treasure-dom?

Good question. When you find the answer, make sure I’m the first to know because I’ve been fiddling with the opening to my first novel for the passed year and have yet to nail it down just the way I want it. (I’ll let you know what my editor thinks of my most recent revision. I suspect she might roll on the floor with belly-aching guffaws, again.) Beats me. I’d rather time-travel back to the Mesozoic era, wither away under a cretaceous rock until the next millennium, and reincarnate as Cormac McCarthy. That would be much easier than re-writing my first chapter. Trust me.

I’m telling you, I’m brain dead (as you’ve probably noticed by now). But, I’m trying to pin down that glorious opening, at least according to all the great books I’ve read regarding story beginnings, such as: Les Edgerton’s Hooked, (my Bible on openings) or Robert Mckee’s Story, which is geared more towards screenwriting, but nevertheless, makes very valid points regarding the all-important opening of your story, among other things.

Check out this great opening, cited in Edgerton's Hooked, from Dominica Radulescu’s, Train to Trieste, that probably earned her MS publication, but was drastically altered upon publication.

Excerpt:

‘I am returning from the Black Sea wild and disheveled, my skin golden and salty and my hair entangled and blonder from the sun. A girl I used to know has just died on a hiking accident in the mountains: she was hit in the head by a rock on a trip with her boyfriend. He had accidently sent down that rock, as he was walking behind her, on the steep path.’

(Middle portion of excerpt omitted for the sake of brevity.)

‘But this summer when I am seventeen and returning from the Black Sea, I am bursting into being a woman and I don’t care about empty stores and sugar and flour rations. All I care about is that this man grieving for his dead lover turn his eyes on me.’

You can get the gist of her this wonderful opening by reading just these few paragraphs, especially the way it ends. Because of copyright infringement and since the chapter is way too long to post here, take a look at how the new opening to her book was recently published:

http://www.randomhouse.com/knopf/catalog/display.pperl?isbn=9780307268235&v
iew=excerpt

Uh…you have to click on the link above first. You did? Okay, as you can see, it’s a huge difference and in my opinion, the original MS is far more intriguing and it fits within the “writing model” according to the great story beginnings with no backstory, that readers in today’s marketplace love so much, since they’re allegedly so hyper, and must get right to it.

Why did the editors and/or publisher decide to change the opening? Well, I wish I had a solid answer to that in the publisher’s own words, however, I imagine that they changed or amplified the opening according to current story trends within the genre, therefore accommodating the most important people in the story chain: the readers. Give ’em what they want, sort of thing. But what does that have to do with ruining a perfectly good beginning? Enlighten me…please.

It’s anyone’s guess. Although, I suspect that it sure pays to know a good agent or an editor who has the inside scoop as far as what’s most likely to sell and who’s buying what at any given time. They do know what publishers are looking for, but who’s to say what readers will like, after all? Then again, it could be her "Platform". She is a literary hot-shot after all.

It’s like that old saying in Hollywood: “Nobody knows anything,” when it comes to stories, regardless of how they’re structured. What one person considers junk, another might fall in love with.

Just like so many different opinions/book reviews on Amazon.com can attest to.

“Good Night and Good luck”.

Spontaneous Olympics Rant: If I see one more Chinese Panda chomping on bamboo chutes, I’m going to have a nervous breakdown!

About Your Pesky Editor

Okay folks...what do you say when your editor takes a look at the revisions on your beloved MS, and then slices it, dices it, has it for brunch, and then spits it out?

Ahh...Bon Appetite, of course.

And how would you know since nothing remotely like this has ever happened to you, right?
Come on now, we all know how it works, and how it hurts, oh soooo bad. But listen, if editors could write, they would be writing and making tons of money. They do what they do best: they edit and critique.

They look at your so-called masterpiece, the one that you've slaved over for the past year and butcher it to pieces. And of course, they always make a good point. Or two, or three. You get the idea. Editors can see what we cannot, and they know what we don't know. We're usually focused on telling a story, and getting our characters to do what they do. And so, we get lost in a rhythm, (just talking myself down from the last revision folks) and in all the telling, and all the narrative and all that fantastic dialog.

Meanwhile, editors think like...editors. They watch out for all the passive sentence construction, the embarrassing typos, the split infinitive's, the run on sentences, the dangling and the wangling, and the structure of it all. And who knows what else? Well, I know of a lot more but I don't have all day to list it here.

But here's the point: Yes, editors can be ruthless at times, and honest and very transparent and they basically pull no punches. And that's the way it should be. Who wants an editor that doesn't help make your story better? An editor that helps make your work shine will labor hard and doesn't tell you what you want to hear. They make corrections, offer suggestions and point out all the inaccuracies that one tries to get away with. (It is fiction, after all. Right.)

Heck, just look at the professional reviews for so many published books out there, already on the bookshelves. They often don't fare much better, even after publication.

There are no perfect books, or perfect stories of any kind, as we all know, however, the goal is to come as close to perfection as one can get. And that goal, simply cannot be done without another pair of eyes that can catch all the mistakes that keep one from publication. (If an agent can smell money in your MS, you're in. They could care less about inaccuracies.)

That's where our trusty editor comes in. They know what agents are looking for and they steer you in the right direction. And I for one am very grateful to have one of the best editors I could ever ask for.

Here's where you can find more of them. Click on the Headline hyper-link for the website where you can post your editing job for hire.

Good luck!

What Makes This Book Trailer So Effective?

If you missed yesterdays post, scroll down and take a quick read and check out the Duma Key Trailer. (The Jeopardy music is on)

Here’s the follow-up:

This trailer gets your adrenaline pumping. (grips your emotions) It’s exciting and suspenseful (since it is a mystery) and it leaves many questions unanswered (the curiosity factor in action).

So, in all of 32 seconds (a flash) we’ve just seen one of the best sales pitches, ever. It makes you want to run out and order the book. Why? Because suddenly, we want to find out what this is all about, but more importantly, we need to know how it will end. So far we’ve only seen a glimpse of the trouble to come. Bloodshed, a drowning, cadavers, and so on.

In mere seconds, we feel involved and we want to be a part of this story already. We want to see it unfold and we want to be swept away and scared by it. (For all of you thrill-seekers out there. Mostly somewhere around a 20 to 35 years-of-age demographic. And that means a book trailer like this would be advertised within those target markets, almost exclusively.)

Let’s Break it Down:

Notice how this trailer starts with an innocent, serene beach scene, framed by lovely palm trees. And then to top it off, that innocuous image is reinforced with the mellow sounds of Hawaiian strings. Oh…how peaceful and tranquil. Just another wonderful day at the beach.

The Headline reads: Need To Escape?

So far, the first few seconds seem quiet and relaxing enough…UNTIL blood starts to drip around the corners of the screen.

Next line: Then Take a Vacation You’ll Never Forget

You now have a powerful opening that juxtaposes two very different happenings. Calmness against bloodshed. Very effective. Now that they’ve got your attention, the blood goes from drips to covering the whole frame, little by little as the music becomes ominous, a sheet of blood covers the screen.

We know something awful is about to happen, or just did. But first, an introduction of the master of mystery and suspense.

The name (Stephen King) appears under water. This builds the suspense.

Next line: (Stephen King) Invites You To Get Away (As the music escalates and becomes even more ominous.)

And then, suddenly, everything goes blank, and just as quick, images of doom and gloom flash about:

A paintbrush mops blood across the screen
A pirate’s ship lost in turbulent seas
A doll’s face rolls its eyes ( a “Chucky” the killer doll, reminder or inference)
A ghostly cadaver takes a deep breath

And then, the Book’s Title is shown under water, drenched in blood, as was the author’s name a few frames before.

Suddenly…the music builds and then slowly comes crashing down and…BOOM. A shot of the book against some of the elements that will play out in the story:

Stormy skies, artists paintbrushes in a can, and so on.

Again…another build-up of music and…BOOM.

Visit Duma Key…Return Trip Not Guaranteed

A short pause and then…the date the book debuts.

Fade to black.


You’ve got to admit that this is highly effective marketing. Notice how in a short 32 seconds, they’ve managed to stir-up emotions and questions inside of you that all of a sudden, you want answers to. And how do you get those answers? You buy the book, of course. BTW, those short 32 seconds create a false sense of urgency and impulse that further escalates your desire to dig deeper and see how this story will play out.

Brilliant.

That’s what all book trailers are supposed to do right? Sure. But instead, what we usually see is the opposite. Most Book trailers want to show and reveal too much. Therefore taking out all the suspense and mystery that the book has to offer. They answer too many questions, so there’s nothing left for you to find out. Nothing for you to wonder about. Big mistake.

Your book trailer or better yet, Book Teaser as it is more appropriately called should do just that. It should tease you and entice you and motivate you to take action, because now you want to know more about what you’ve just seen. They’ve whet your appetite and you’re hungry for more information, more thrills, more fun. You now want to be a part of the story. You want to buy the damn book. And you want it Now!

And BTW, the NOW factor is another marketing technique. Otherwise known as “buying on impulse”, before your emotions cool off and you loose interest, or get side-tracked and forget the whole damn thing. They want you to buy NOW, not later, because later, may be too late for them to make the sale, close the deal, or in layman’s terms, cash-in. Ca-ching!

That’s why they try to get at your deepest emotions because that’s where they reach deep inside you and make you go gah-gah over their products. So they hit you hard, and you become attached to the message and they blind-side your sense of reason and rape you…and…Oh…the horror -- the horror! And…uh…well you get the idea.

It can get any sillier than that folks.

Here’s the whole enchilada wrap-up:

Find something in your story that hooks readers and use that in your book teaser. Don’t have a hook in your story. It’s never too late. Come up with one, weave it into your MS and then use it…everywhere.

In the Duma Key teaser, the hook is… Are you ready for this?

Drum roll please…

And you thought I was going to repeat the same old thing but in short bulleted sentences. Right?

Drum roll again please…

And the hook in the Duma Key teaser is…
…that life is like a box of chocolates? Scratch that, right idea, wrong movie.

Let’s try that again:

And the hook in the Duma Key teaser is…

…that life is uncertain? There you go. You never know what can happen. Just when you thought everything was fine and dandy, and the water was so blue and so still…

BOOM!

It’s all over. A great metaphor for life is what it is. And that’s the subtle, but effective hook. That’s why you crave to know more, because you were not expecting something that horrible to happen -- but it did. That’s also known as misdirection, something you learn in writing your terrific prose along the way. Especially if you write in the mystery and suspense genre.

But wait, there’s more.

That’s right, all these rules of suspense and mystery don’t only apply to that particular genre. Remember that all stories must contain some level of suspense, otherwise you won’t have a very interesting and engaging tale to tell.

So, in other words, every teaser must incorporate these elements, whether they are romances, literary tomes, cowboy and Indian westerns, and so on, and so on..

Like the devil, the element of surprise is always in the details.

Okay, I had another teaser set-up for tomorrow’s post, but for some reason the link is not working so we’ll have to scratch that part until further notice.

Stay tuned for more.

Why Most Book Trailers Suck and How To Improve Yours

So what’s all the fuss over book trailers? Well, here’s a clue. The people who put together many of these marketing atrocities have managed to generate plenty of publicity, purporting the importance of book trailers, in order to sell them to you at very high prices.

Makes sense, doesn’t it? After all, have you ever heard an author praising his Book Trailer from here to eternity because it keeps generating sale after sale? Of course not, and you never will because measuring the success of these trailers is nearly impossible to begin with.

Nobody really knows when a sale has been made as a result of a prospective customer viewing a particular book trailer. Although, yours truly will admit that after viewing the book trailer for Stephen King’s DUMA KEY, I was curious enough and inspired enough to take a look at his book on Amazon and considered buying it. And I’m not even a KING fan. What does that tell you?

Simply this: Either I'm gullible -- or the Duma Key book trailer, and others like it, must have a lasting effect on its fans, and furthermore, it must have led many fans who saw it, to buy the book. Could be a little of both.

So, in other words, YES, book trailers can work and they do work, but only if done properly.

The Real Purpose of a Book Trailer:

1) Your Book Trailer must generate enough curiosity and generate excitement (emotion) that in-turn will lead a prospective buyer to search for more information about your book. And that stimulus will hopefully lead to a sale.

That’s it folks. Don’t look for any other reason under the sun. Yes, fanatics of certain authors may very well go out and buy a copy of a book they just saw presented in a book trailer, BUT, those cases are few and far between. Those kind of authors have been around for some time and have developed a loyal following. Many of their fans await, breathless, and salivating like Pavlovian dogs, for their favorite author's next tome to hit the bookshelves. Most of us don’t have that luxury.

Again: The purpose of your book trailer is not to make a direct sale, but instead, to trigger an emotional response, a hot button, that can lead to a sale. Big difference. Here’s what you need to know:

1) Your BT must arouse curiosity.
You’ve heard this word over and over and that’s simply because without curiosity, you have nothing going for you. You can’t tell your whole story in 30 seconds, or 3 minutes, so don’t try it. It doesn’t work and it’s counterproductive. Find a hook, a gimmick, a phrase, that will push all the hot buttons, or at least one of them.

2) Your BT must excite, move, and inspire, the prospective buyer to take further action. (To buy your book)

3) Your BT must be produced in a way that hits all the right notes. Its graphics, message, music, etc., must all mesh and synchronize as a unit, with one purpose. (To stimulate and evoke a response, and direct someone where to buy your book.)

4) Uh…that’s it. Want more?

You already knew this? Well then, try and apply it and get your Trailer on YouTube and dozens of other sites and start building some credibility at the very least. Remember, in yesterday's post I mentioned the "C" Factor. The Credibility Factor. It's something you have to work on and build upon over the years.

Debut authors have disadvantages. We're unknown, and unproven to "get the job done". To get the masses to clamor and jump, and salivate for our books. (Learn to write first.) That's why publishers have double standards. New authors must pay their dues before they're accepted into the wide, wonderful world of publishing.

But there are filters in place, called Lit Agents, and they're the gatekeepers in the land of publishing. And they're sick and tired of so many lame queries. (I don't query any more.) That's why most queries rarely work, because agents are not even reading them. They know they're usually going to waste their time, and they're right. So how do you get passed the middle man?

Learn your craft and learn it well.

And that folks, is accomplished by doing your homework, polishing your material and finding the right agent that will take an interest in your idea, or someone who can refer you to an agent they already know or have done business with.

So where does your kick-ass book trailer fit into all this? (Cuckoo clock chime right here.)

It's part of your marketing and promotions package, of course. Just like your press release, and your synopsis, and your website and your blog. Plus a zillion other things. And while Book Trailers are not a must at any point in any authors career, they certainly can't hurt either. (Unless they really suck, like most of them do, and therefore the subject of this post.)

Tomorrow we'll discuss the Duma Key Trailer and why it works so well. Plus, we'll look at another book trailer that almost succeeds but falls a little short, and why. Don't miss this post.

Click on the Title Hyperlink to see the Duma Key book trailer.

Can Your Book Be a "Bestseller"?

"There is no threshold of a certain number of copies a book must sell to be a bestseller, there never has been and I doubt there ever will be."

And that quote belongs to Jerry Simmons of WritersReaders.com. Need I say more? Well, yeah, otherwise this is going to be a very short posting, so here goes.

It's all about almighty SALES my friends. Lest we forget that publishing is a business that depends on plenty of sales in order to survive the slim profit margins they're able to allow themselves, especially these days. It's also about marketing, because when you label a book "Bestseller" or "National Bestseller", publishers are almost guaranteed a boost in sales. Why not? The word "Bestseller" in the minds of readers is like a stamp of approval, or a guarantee that they're not wasting their money or time on some worthless drivel that nobody wants to read.

But what allows publishers to determine and use the word Bestseller? Just about anything goes. A spike in sales of a particular title at the local bookstore. A top spot based on popularity in any newspaper's "Bestsellers List", and so on.

It's all about a "join the crowd" mentality and you can't go wrong. That "B" word assures readers that they're not taking a chance because if it is implied that masses of people like the book, then you will most likely enjoy it as well, and you'll buy it "on impulse", preferably. Tough luck if after you get the book you're not satisfied with the story or its outcome.

Although, most readers are smart enough to look beyond the cover of a book and "Search Inside" a book or read a synopsis, or reviews that further explains a book's premise. So, the chances of being disappointed after you buy a book is always debatable and subjective.

So, what does it take for your book, or novel to be labeled a "Bestseller"? Well, for one thing, those wonderful words you've labored over and flung between the covers, must be engaging and offer some kind of benefit to the reader. That way more and more people will talk about it and others will be inclined to buy it. Especially if it's non-fiction and your credentials are impeccable. But what kind of benefit can you offer readers if you've written a novel?

Well, I could leave you hanging right here and leave that for my next posting, but I think it's somewhat obvious. The benefit any reader looks for when reading a novel, or fiction in general is, an escape, of course. Readers want to be transported into other worlds. Not only the fictitious world surrounding your beloved characters, but the world, the voice, the point of view of its author in relation to the story.

I hate to break the news to some of you folks, but that's why publishers market and "brand" their authors. It's why the author's name is the first thing you see on the cover of most books. Readers buy because of the author's style, not just the story they have to tell. And that kind of "branding" takes years to build. Why do you think it's so difficult for new authors to break through? Nobody has ever heard of them. They have no clout and no proof they can "entertain" you. Readers are at "at risk" of wasting their valuable time and GAS money folks. (I know, that was a kill-joy, but funny. Deal with it.)

But those marketing tactics are not exclusive to books, as you already know. I f you're like me, you probably watch just about any movie Denzel Washington stars in, or Robert DeNiro. You know it has to be good if they're involved, because you enjoy their performances. BTW, Ralph Fiennes was, as they say in movie industry lingo, "a revelation" in RED DRAGON.

But back to the point. If you're a debut author of any kind, in any genre, whether fiction or non-fiction, and you want your book to be hailed as a Bestseller, then write a bestselling, quality, kind of book. (Easier said than done, but you can do it.) There are formulas to everything you know. But, and here's the most important thing:

You must be yourself. (With a little of "this and that" mixed in, according to Hollywood. They don't like to take too many chances, and neither do book publishers.)

Click on the Title-Hyperlink for more in-depth facts about "Bestsellers".

***
Next Post: Why Most Book Trailers Suck And How To Improve Yours

"Oh...Martha," Alberto said. "Is my beverage and bath ready dear? And please don't forget a fresh bar of my favorite soap on a rope. I'll be in need of it."

"Notes" is Self-Published

What do you expect from a publishing company called Wunderlick? You've gotta love that name folks. As a follow-up to my hasty post yesterday about "Notes From The Mothership", here's a quote from the author Adrienne Zurub:

"I worked on finding the perfect name for MY publishing company. I thought of naming the enterprise after my children, and then no. I thought of: Ford, Chase & Wunderlick, Ford & Wunderlick (I'll explain the Wundelick in a minute!), Guilford, Chase & Wunderlick, and a host of other names. Now, the Wunderlick name (which I think is sooo cool) came from the news of a woman somewhere and about something and her last name was 'Wunderlick!' How often do you hear a name like that? Exactly! So, it became mine. My publishing company is named "CHASE & WUNDERLICK PUBLISHERS,

http:chasewunderlickpublishers.com.cn. I gave it a China (cn) presence to make it international."


I'm suspecting her book was published through LULU.com, as mine is also since it's a hardcover, but the important lesson here is this:

1) A curious name such as "Wunderlick" goes a long way in attracting attention.

2) Launching your own publishing company (a registered LLC for several hundred dollars) with such a name lends valuable credibility to your book.

3) The .com.cn links her Publishing Company to the largest English portal in China, which in turn gives her International access and exposure.

There are, of course, many other factors that went into catapulting her book into bestseller status which BTW (light bulb here) makes a good topic for my next posting. What classifies a book as "bestseller" that is. I'll demystify that next time and set the record straight once and for all about that whole notion.

I think though, that the main reason for the book's success is that it has built-in controversy. Plus, Ms. Zurub is very well-versed in marketing and promotion and she knows how to "build a brand" around such controversy to begin with. Let's give credit where it's due. Great things don't happen by themselves for the most part. She's a tireless and astute promoter who knows her way around the world of publicity, and that's what it takes, among so many other things.

Everything must work in unison. From the curiosity of the book cover, to it's title, to the all-important writing between the marvelous covers, that is most important of all. Otherwise the book has no traction beyond what you see. The writing in essence carries the book to its successful ways and means. That's the heart and soul of the book, the thing that connects with readers and inspires them to react and become a part of it all just as I am doing here.

It's viral, it's catchy, it's curious, it's funny, the next hot topic of conversation, especially if you're a nurse or in the medical field in this case. A lot going on, and every element must "hold its own" along the way.

More about this later. I like to keep my posts short and bittersweet.

Notes From The Mothership

As you all know by now, I'm a marketing fanatic and so I came across this unique book called "Notes From The Mothership: The Naked Invisibles". How's that for a title? And the cover speaks for itself. (Publisher: Chase & Wunderlick Publishers, LLC)

The cover photo is by AliciaRoss.com and the original has been slightly altered (no legs). The writing appears to be projected onto the body, although it may well be Photoshopped. It's title, "I'm Not My Mother" is scrawled on her back, over and over, from top to bottom. You've got to see the rest of her work. She specializes in this sort of thing. All you "Macho-men" out there, beware, this is all about empowerment for women, in case your Cro-Magnon cells haven't noticed by now. (Snap out of it! --Yes, Cher from the movie Moonstruck. An old reference but for those of you who get it; priceless, and as the Brit's say, "Spot-on".)

BTW, that's not the author on the cover as one might suspect (and would've been a good idea), but Adrienne Zurub was not about to go that far. (women's empowerment only goes so far you know) You knew that was coming from a bloke like me, didn't you? But back to the book. For some reason this book, an autobiography/memoir, comes across as a self-published and might as well have been since it's author appears to be doing most, if not all it's marketing and publicity. But then again, doesn't that always fall on the shoulders of the authors? Most of the time. Especially in this new freakazoid world of publishing where the only thing that rules is money and sales percentages. (Not as new as we are led to believe, mind you. It's always been about the Benjamin's brother. I mean sister. Sister, I meant sister.)

Yes, I do know my place and take it well. My own protagonist in DFB is female and trust me, she's on a mission from God herself. (Yes, a shameful plug, but that's the way it works folks.)

And I've given my plug a paragraph of its own, so it just hangs there, like a summer breeze. I'm so transparent and self-serving, it's pathetic. Well at least I didn't spell out my title, "A Death For Beauty" in big, bold, flashing, red neon letters or anything. Way too crass, even for me.

But let's face it, I've done a good thing after all. At least it appears that way in print. Hey, I even posted this article on DIGG.com, without my shameless plug of course.

I do have my limits, you know.

More about all this tomorrow, I'm going to refresh my Mojito.

Can You Handle The Truth? Jerry Simmons has...

...no problem dishing it out. BTW, my short and self-serving post below was meant to point you to someone who really knows what they're talking about. (As far as I can tell.) And that would be Jerry Simmons of WritersReaders.com

His website is a cornucopia of related information that you need to know if you're writing a book or novel, and it's backed by plenty of publishing experience. I like his honesty and he never sugar-coats anything. (You can't handle the truth!)

Congrats on your website Jerry, I wish you the very best.

Does Your Book Cover Fit The Market?

Yes, I did it again. I tweaked the cover at least for the Hardcover version of my novel. Take a look below and see what I mean. Here's the ice-cream scoop. And BTW I've always been aware of this, but sometimes one is married to a certain design and you can't part with it. Although I've always wanted to make both the paperback and hardcover a little different, they almost looked identical so I finally decided to "do the right thing" (whatever that is). Let's not forget, I don't have all the answers, of course, and I'm winging it most of the time. (Plus my brain blinks on and off too much.)

Anyway, since my novel is "literary", (laughter here) and who would guess that a wise-cracking, smart-ass like me could pen a literary tome? Well, I'm bi-polar, or something like that. Who can even say that it masquerades as literary? Judge for yourself. I think it works. Maybe literary with shades of magical realism and dark satire all rolled into one. Who even cares?

At any rate, the cover should look like a librarian designed it. Somewhat stale, (I love librarians BTW) understated, and unadorned, I suppose. All I did was reduce the huge title and removed what I call a cameo frame, just to make it even simpler. I think it works and so I'm done with it, for now. If an agent ever gets a hold of this, I'm sure they'll suggest something that I'm really going to hate. Honestly, this is why I don't even want Lit Agents to get involved at this point. I'll be more than happy to strike out on my own. All I have to do now is sit back and watch the money roll in.

(LONG PAUSE)

And in case you didn't notice that last remark was a JOKE. And the joke is on me. I love it.
Check out this website for good marketing and publishing information by Jerry Simmons. www.WritersReaders.com/ Click on the Headline for the hyperlink to this website.

I think I'm due for a Mojito. And BTW, I'm not an alcoholic, I just sound like one because I keep burning the same old line. I've had enough too. (of the joke, not the drinks) Did I just break the first AA step?

Reviving Waters in The Valley

Okay folks, I’m back from the dead, almost literally. I’m on an extended “vacation” in beautiful Puerto Rico. (Just trying to keep the Board of Tourism happy you know.) It really depends where you are in Puerto Rico if you can say if it’s beautiful or not, much like anywhere else I suppose. But do they really want us to “Explore Beyond the Shore?” Because folks, that’s where the beauty starts and ends in my opinion. (Easy, native Puertoricans, don’t get your flags in a bunch but it’s the least I can do for all the taunting I got because of my fair skin when I was in High School here. And what’s with the lame phone lines filled with static? Its signal depends on which way the wind blows.

I am staying with my Mom, not far from the Arecibo Observatory and believe me, I need the almighty signals from that gigantic Dish Radio Telescope to get a decent internet connection in this area.

And as far as beauty goes; my mother’s house is nicely landscaped and gardened with a variety of colorful plants and evergreens but just across from her, her sister’s house looks like a nuclear blast has just gone off in front of her house. I’m still looking for the mushroom cloud above it. Nothing but truncated trees, rocks and grey sandy soil. Barely a green leaf in sight. Even the trees are bare. I’d love to show a split photo but of course I lost my camera cable so I can’t upload them. You’ll have to see this to believe it. My mother says that she’s just as fastidious about keeping everything bare as she is cultivating her colorful garden. And there you have it. Puerto Rico is beautiful. It just depends which side of the road you’re looking at. Go figure. I’ve never seen anything like it. (BTW my aunt is a sweetheart. I always thought she looks like a Spanish Marilyn Monroe. At least when she was younger. Thank God she won’t read this. It’s all in the hair after all)

Okay, so what am I doing in beautiful Puerto Rico? Uhh…my ex-wife kicked me out on the street? Yeah, that works. It’s funny anyway. It would be even funnier if it weren’t true. But don’t cry for me Argentina, I’m still alive and well and basking in the proverbial sun. Astray in the midst of a primrose path, as Shakespeare might say. But what the hell. Three home-cooked squares and all the sleep I can get. (God bless my mother) Just what the doctor ordered. Like I said, I’m back from the dead. Trying to get some rest in the back of my truck in a Walmart parking lot for a week is more than I care to ever venture. Those vacuum sweepers at midnight are awfully noisy you know.

So here’s the lesson in writing. (And you thought I was only venting) Don’t hold anything back. Spill it all out. We’ve all been through it before and if not yet, most of us are on our way sooner or later. There’s no shame in adversity. We’re all human and nobody is immune to the hardships in life. As my wonderful 76 year old mom says: You even pay for the laughter in this world. God sees it all.

These are the lessons that make you a better writer. A better person. Find the truth in all your stories. Tell that truth and tell it well. Write it down in blood. Bare your heart and soul because everything you’re exposing is already known to all of us and by confirming everything human within us, we validate our experiences and connect with our readers in special ways. There’s nothing new under the sun. It’s all been done before. And as writers, our goal is to say it like only we can say it; in a way only we can express it. In our style. In our own manner. With our own voice.

And everyone said: AMEN.


Next installment: Uhh...I'm still working on that but stay tuned because even the spacebar on my laptop conspires againstmethese days. (See what I mean?)

Me; paranoid and superstitious? Nah...it's all in your head. I've crossed the Atlantic. Those Haitian spells can't touch me.