“Finn” by Jon Clinch: Quintessential Revisionist Literature?

Relax, Nothing is Sacred Anymore

I recently finished reading the novel, Finn, by Jon Clinch, and truly enjoyed Clinch’s take on Mark Twain’s classic, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. And let me say that I don’t know what all the nonsense about messing with a classic is all about. Clinch admits that a famous novelist had warned him that if he insisted on writing Finn, he ought to be constantly on his guard. “Mr. Clemens, (Mark Twain, for those of you literary challenged.) will be looking over your shoulder.”

What kind of crap is that? I’ve never heard such bunk before. The last time I checked, the First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was still intact. You know, the part where freedom of speech cannot be infringed upon. Not a purist by any means, I believe that anything goes. Why not? This is fictive literature, an homage, if you will, and not a scientific, legal, or moral debate. In addition, that said, why is it always implied by literati purists that if you “tamper with”, or in this case, revise a classic work of literature, it is plagiarism. If that’s the case, my own novel, which includes a revision of many classic literary works, (and I’ll say no more about it) is the biggest form of plagiarism known to mankind.

I believe that Finn, stands alone as a classic work of literature and that it enhances, broadens, and illuminates, Twain’s own classic work, Huckleberry Finn. What’s the problem with that? If purists want to point fingers and challenge today’s authors with counts bordering on plagiarism, let them take it up with Cormac McCarthy for starters. One of his own first novels, Blood Meridian, to be exact, includes revisions of Melville’s classic, Moby Dick, and John Milton’s, Paradise Lost, and what the heck let's throw in Paolo Coelho's The Alchemist, as a rip-off, uh excuse me, a revision of One Thousand and One Nights. So what? Who really cares? And BTW, this observation comes from a better learned scholar than me, by the name of Professor Hungerford at the prestigious Yale University. Take it up with her. She teaches this sort of stuff. (I know, I know, Yale has to come up with something worth paying for. May as well be this.)

Let’s keep things in perspective folks. There’s not one work of fiction that hasn’t been revised to an extent or one form or another. You want to look for original ideas in literature, real literature, that is, start with the KJV of the Bible, which has been revised by authors since the beginning of time. Ancient Greek Mythology anyone? Aristotle? Shakespeare? Beyond that, everything else has been bastardized and revised to death, just the same. You want the ultimate as an example of revisionist literature? (Lyrics--yes, musical literature.) In the music industry it’s known as “sampling” and just about everyone that has a hit tune these days, owes a debt of gratitude to their predecessors in the industry. They know a good hook when they hear one and you better believe they’re going to use it. Sometimes, without permission.

Both, Simon and Garfunkle, (Turn, Turn, Turn) as well as Earnest Hemingway, (the title, The Sun Also Rises) owe The Preacher Man who penned the Book of Ecclesiastes, as well as so many other authors, for sure.

The same goes for literary fiction. The list is ongoing and endless here folks. That’s life in the big city, as I like to say. Nothing is sacred. Not even the Bible, which should be, but is never safe either.

All this brings me to another example of revisionist literature, before I continue my review of Finn, if I may indulge you in another of my passions in life, screenplays. In the film industry, the proverbial list can go on forever too, but let me narrow this down to two of my favorite movies.

The first is Taxi Driver. For those young guns not familiar with this movie, it’s a must-see 1976 classic, directed by Martin Scorsese, about a taxi driver (Robert DeNiro) who tries saving a prostitute (Jodie Foster) from the grips of her abusive pimp, (Harvey Keitel, of Pulp Fiction fame).

The 1993 revision of this film, Mad Dog and Glory, is produced by none other than Scorsese himself, although directed by John McNaughton this time around. In this modern version of the old classic, DeNiro stars as the same lonesome fellow who tries to save a bartender/call girl (Uma Thurman- Pulp Fiction) from the grips of her boss, a mobster, smartly played by Bill Murray. If this (right down to its melancholic saxophone riffs, whenever DeNiro is on screen) doesn’t ring like the original, nothing does, and it is revision at its best. The difference here is that DeNiro’s character is a sensible, demure, law-abiding crime scene investigator, as opposed to his manic, suicidal character in Taxi Driver. The themes in both these films are almost identical, although the feel in “Mad Dog”, is not quite as dark as Taxi Driver, but nonetheless, the ominous overtones are still evident beneath the surface.

DeNiro was first offered the part of the mobster boss, but he turned it down for the conflicted, insecure character, which I think he pulls off nicely. Although, like most DeNiro fans, I’d much rather see him play the role of a bad guy, as in Heat, opposite Al Pacino, which I think (in addition to Cape Fear) is his best role ever. Besides, I have a hard time watching DeNiro get his freak on. It always comes off awkward and rehearsed, which leads me to believe that it’s not an act since I’ve noticed this so many times before. Unless he’s just uncomfortable filming these kinds of scenes, which is most likely the case. DeNiro is quite a self-conscious character, especially during interviews. Check him out on Charlie Rose, discussing the movie, The Good Shepherd. (Angelina Jolie and other stars of the movie are also part of the interview. http://www.charlierose.com/view/interview/83)  This is vintage DeNiro, and quite priceless. Very uncomfortable and inarticulate, which is why roles like Wayne, in Mad Dog and Glory, don’t seem like such a stretch for him.

Okay folks, as usual, I’ve digressed from the real purpose of this Post, which is to review the novel, Finn. So if you can find it within the untamed spaces of your heart, please forgive my non sequitur.

Jon Clinch has been hailed by reviewers and critics as the next William Faulkner, or Cormac McCarthy. If not a stretch, then not a bad comparison, if you can get it. I tend to disagree to an extent. Although, I’ll also add that Clinch has a unique voice, all his own and stands on his own merits as a talented, engaging writer, and that any comparisons to either of these aforementioned writers, borders on wishful thinking from the elite literati community for the emergence of a 21^st century gifted writer. Not to take anything away from Clinch, mind you. The point is, he is his own writer and better served without the comparisons.

 

Where does one begin to comment on a novel like this? There’s so much to say and so many places to go with it. So, true to form, I’ll not state the obvious.

 

Jon Clinch says he wrote this novel in the space of 5 months. Now, most of you are already crying bloody murder. How is that possible? Again, ask Cormac McCarthy who penned his novel, The Road in only two weeks.  (Can anyone type that fast?) Two what? He was merely taking dictation folks. Or his secretary was, at any rate. Which is to say that sometimes, writers work out everything about a novel in their heads first, and then simply write down the events as they see them transpiring in their minds eye. Plots have long ago been plotted, dialogue has been churning in their minds for years, and the story hook came about from a dream, or their subconscious. It’s just that simple, and that handily explains why these writers “wrote” in record time. Makes sense to me. I think we can all relate to an extent.

 

In this novel, however, by far, the most engaging character (and there are many) is Finn, the father, as should be expected and he does not disappoint, but rather, shocks and disturbs. The boy, who is initially referred to as Finn and later as Huck, a matter of some confusion from the start since Finn’s plot is by no means a linear one and things can get a little off balance in the readers mind, trying to keep track of time frames and the characters that are referenced within them. Nevertheless, this sort of plotting keeps you on your tiptoes and sometimes, even gets on your nerves, but this reader always tends to take the blame and chalk it up to his poor focus as opposed to the author’s poor plotting. Whatever the case may be, Clinch’s, use of this literary technique works, albeit with some distraction. Yet, this is the kind of thing that makes you want to read the book twice to make sure you “get it” the second time around.

Clinch also manages to create a narrator that to my ear, reminds me of a dark, authorial, Wilford Brimley (the oatmeal guy). That’s the voice in my head, just as much as Finn reminds me of a sinister Jed from The Beverly Hillbillies. Go figure. Either way, it works for me.

 

I think the most unexpected thing about this novel, for this reader, was the gratuitous violence from Finn himself, which does fit his character as interpreted and envisioned from Twain’s story nonetheless, as Clinch aptly, re-imagines his protagonist as a murderous alcoholic and sets him off in a most peculiar underworld. An underbelly, which begs revisiting, despite its brutal and disturbing nature. Huck’s voice also rings true to character as Clinch manages to win our sympathies for this lost boy, right from the start. Anyone who has a child would be heartbroken by this dark story of depravation and abuse by such a conflicted and dangerous father as Finn. More than anything else, this alone propelled me into the story and anchored me to the boy’s plight for love, and at the same time, freedom from his unpredictable, alcoholic father.

 

The manner, in which Jon Clinch pieces together this daring, new tale from the past, and keeps it in the past, is masterful, engaging, and credible. I was hooked from the first sentence, not only because of the disturbing imagery, but because of the voice that carried the narration with such detachment.

Finn, is a great modern classic tale, steeped in literary traditions that I suspect most women readers will shy away from, however, I think they’re missing a relevant and meaningful message about love and humanity that this story has to offer both genders alike.

Clinch’s voice and style is closer to McCarthy’s than Faulkner’s and in many ways, just as interesting, as he narrates with an insightful and omniscient feel that permeates every page with a most revealing and humanistic sensitivity to its characters and their circumstances. A refreshing voice you’ll want to read again and again.

If there is a moral to this story, and there always is, or should be, it is an old saying from the Barrio.

“What goes around, comes around.”

Be careful whom you cross.

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Who Said Whaaat?

BTW, in a recent interview, Paolo Coelho said that he hates when people ask him about the message his stories embody. (Coelho, paraphrasing)  "If I wanted to write a message, I would write a statement, not a novel."

Nice soundbite Coelho. Hemingway and others would agree with Coelho, but let me say that the best written novels, the most remembered, always had a message, otherwise known, as a Premise. It's what the book ends with and why it was written to begin with. 

The reason these authors like to deny their stories have a message is because it takes away from the literary aspect of their work and "reduces" them to mere commercial panderers for the sake of a sale.  Plus, I suspect that they don't begin writing with a message in mind, but nevertheless, subconsiously end up with one. 

Let's face it, what would the story The Old man and the Sea, be like if the old man came ashore with a huge fish strapped to the side of his boat in one beautiful piece? Or what would we think of To Kill a Mockingbird, if we never met Boo Radley at the end of the story? How about if John Grady Cole's partner never returned with his horse in All the Pretty Horses?

Uhhaah, I rest my case.

(That's Pacino's "Uhhaah" in Scent of a Woman.)

Upcoming Pavlovian Doglike Posts

Newsflash to Pavlov: I drool like a dog too!

Post: May 4/09

* A review of Jon Clinch's novel, Finn.

A freakish review/comparative digression into revisionist literature. (Whaaat?) 

Post: 11/09

* The Real Secret Behind "The Secret"

This Post reveals one of the biggest marketing ploys of all time. Want to know the real secret? I've had enough. I'm going to blow the lid off this "mother" once and for all, and in the process, I'll come clean with some of my own marketing exploits. Shameful.

Post: 18/09

* A commentary about one of the most influential novels of all time. Plus, I'll reveal the identity of the "sex kitten" below and the role she played in the movie, which was based on the famous novel.

Wipe it off!

Who is this Gorgeous Redhead?

Don't even try guessing. Find out right here next week.

I don't expect anyone to recognize this beautiful and sexy redhead that loves to go topless, but here's a clue: She played a minor, but pivitol character in the movie adapted for a classic science fiction novel from the sixties.  She, and the novel, and the movie, will be the subject of my next Post. 

On Monday, I'll be posting my review of Jon Clinch's novel, Finn, with relevant anecdotes about Revisionist Literature. It's an eye-opener, don't miss it.

Keep it caged guys. I'll post the mouth-watering topless pix too. (Yes, men are pigs.)

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TMI ALERT: I've been thinking of changing the title of this blog to The Cuckoo Bird Files.  As much as I try to come off as a respectable, serious, whatever, it doesn't fly for me, and besides it's too much work not being myself.  My alter ego, at any rate. In person, I'm a true scholar with a loose screw or two at best. (Insert imaginary cuckoo chime right here.) Thank you very much. (Think Elvis.)

Cormac McCarthy's Book Promo?

A mastermind of promotional genius

Sometimes, you just can’t give a damn. Especially if you’re a genius writer like Cormac McCarthy. McCarthy had spent most of his adult life as a relatively unknown novelist. He wrote 10 books, of which, altogether probably sold no more than several thousand copies each.

 

Most writers would have called it quits after their first “unsuccessful” book. But let’s put this in perspective, because McCarthy’s writing has been funded by all sorts of grants starting in 1965 with a Traveling Fellowship award from The American Academy of Arts and Letters and he was also awarded a MacArthur Fellowship in 1981, a.k.a., the so-called Genius Grant which is awarded to many types of endeavors, not just writing, when he wrote his fifth novel, Blood Meridian, rightfully hailed as a masterpiece of American literature. His first novel, The Orchard Keeper, was also awarded the Faulkner Prize in 1965.

 

So as of 1965, McCarthy had a reason to keep writing, whether or not his books were selling. But it would take a movie based on his sixth novel, All The Pretty Horses, which won the National Book Award, that catapulted McCarthy’s work onto the mainstream literary stage. Before that, known only in the most upscale of literary circles, mostly among Fellowship Committees and a “handful” of loyal readers who had discovered his work.

 

In a sense, McCarthy was well-paid for his writing through Fellowships and Grants as opposed to sales generated from readership. All the same to him. Money is money, regardless how it is earned and where it comes from. And what better source than a distinguished panel of judges on Fellowship Committees who appreciate great literature. Their votes count, and they count big, as only McCarthy knows all too well.

 

This is why during Oprah’s interview (McCarthy’s first and only interview at length with the media.) she asked him if it mattered to him if anyone liked his writing. His reply: (paraphrasing) “Not really, it doesn’t matter to me.” To which Oprah said, “You are a different kind of author.” Yet, his reply only meant that he was getting paid either way and he had approval from the most important gatekeepers in the business. Oprah interpreted his comment as an odd statement coming from an author who always depends on mass readership and book purchases to be successful. I guess she forgot about all his prestigious book awards, Academy Awards and accolades.

 

When you have award committees on your side with deep pockets, who needs to sell books? And why should it matter to McCarthy who I’m sure thinks that if dumb readers don’t get his writing, award committees do get it, and they pay nicely for it.

 

I’ll bet McCarthy never had to promote his books in any way. And when you’re an award-winning writer, why should you? Your awards are your promotion, publicity, name recognition, platform, all wrapped up into one. And of course it doesn’t hurt if your editor is William Faulkner’s former editor at Random House. Always a plus.

 

Of course, McCarthy had “unwittingly” done what he always avoided doing, or never had reason to do in order to make money as a writer. He went on national television, on one of the most watched talk shows in television history, and still promoted his book(s) The Road. Yes, another Pulitzer Prize winning book and Academy Award winning movie.

 

You think sales of all his books shot up after that awkward interview? You bet they did. And I was one of the first schmucks to buy just about every book he ever wrote. Is McCarthy a genius writer? Well, yes, but not even genius writers are perfect novelists. And by that I mean that in my humble opinion, some of his characters are outright cartoonish. Yet I wonder if this is not one of his ingenious ploys, to juxtapose cartoonish characters alongside real, deeply developed and highly polished credible characters. Much like a Jerry Louis and Dean Martin routine, a straight man and funny man. Hmm, I think I’m on to something. Maybe I’ll give that a shot some day. You never know, the Fellowship Committee Board might just take note and my days of promotion are over.

 

(This was a dream I had the other night and absolutely has nothing to do with my waking thoughts. Ahh, let me see, to win a MacArthur Fellowship, first I’ll need a body of 12 nominators who will appeal to a selection committee and if I get passed them, then to the President of the Board of Directors, and then I just might get the phone call of my life. Not so bad. Now if only I was a genius writer. That’s the one, small detail, I always forget.)

Check out the McCarthy Interview with Oprah here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJVv2EkRbO8

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Next week's Post: A surprise you won't want to miss.

Promoting Your Novel - Part II

I like total control over everything I do because I think I have all the best answers, but of course, I don't.  But I come as close to the answers that matter most. This is important. Small adjustments can always be made along the way.  So in my case, since I have experience in sales, marketing, advertising, copywriting, graphic design, and more, well, I like to do-it-myself. My own way. But that's just me. That's how I get my kicks these days, and I'm out to prove, at least to myself, that I can succeed doing it on my own, and with very little money.  (Besides, I can't find an agent. Not that I've tried so hard. I loathe the system.) It's your call on how much time and money you're willing to spend on anything.  Point is? How much does success mean to you? Plain and simple. There's your answer. Just remember, if you're paying for SP services, shop around and make sure you're getting your money's worth. You're the boss. You're in control.

 

Okay, so the quality of your book depends on many factors along the way. Its packaging, (jacket covers) its written content, the printing quality, its manufacturing. In the SP world, that usually means perfect binding (they glue it up) and not stitching or signatures where they fold leafs and assemble it the traditional way.  But this is a minor glitch in the SP menu of services. Something that many consumers will overlook since they don't really care about the binding as much as writers do. So perfect binding will do, as long as it doesn't fall apart.  I recently bought a self-published novel that was poorly stitch-bound by a Vanity Press, and whenever you turn the pages it feels like it wants to fall apart. Not good.

 

The Self-Publishing Image:

SP has gained a bad reputation and for good reason. They're all in it for the money they can make from their incidental services, meaning editing, synopses, and so on, which are usually not up to traditional publishing standards. That being said, I've never seen the perfectly proofread or edited novel by traditional publishing houses either.  I also worked as a proofreader and easily find typos in the best-written books, by the best writers. It happens all the time.  So the trick is to design and present your book to the public in its most advantageous form. People do buy a book by its cover, and I'm living proof of that.  

 

Make sure your book cover is on the money, as they say.  And BTW, we all know that publishing houses hire book cover designers that are in touch with the buyer/reader markets out there and that they have a gift for knowing what kind of cover will sell the most books. Here’s what I’ll say about all that. Book covers are designed with regional slants sometimes and differently for international markets as well. The designer’s main approach is to design your book cover so it fits in with the rest of the books on the shelf. They don’t want it too look like an oddball cover among everything else.  So, if you plan on designing your own book jacket, first take a look at the current bestsellers in your genre and see what makes them tick. Aside from subject matter and artistic style, colors and textures go a long way in conveying your idea to the reader.  That being said, some book covers appear generic in nature, while others have a much more personal touch. This is all a guessing game for the most part, but think about the most relevant image that will connect with your readers and go with that. Make it curious and artistic and beautiful.  (I’ll say this much, the cover for the Oscar Wao book is hideous and although the story seems to be something I might enjoy, I’d be embarrassed to own that book because of its cover. What can I say; I was a fine-arts major. And no, I don’t buy any of the Dummies books either.)

 

So let's remove the SP stigma out of this equation and make believe that you've done your homework and your book is very presentable in the marketplace, and desirable to its target market and crossover markets. Hey, you've got a winner on your hands, so far. People like what they see, like what they hear about it, and now they're thinking about buying it. That's the first step. You must get inside your audience/readers mind. Anticipate what they're looking for to begin with and present it with all you've got. Notice the word present folks. We're not hard-selling or hitting people over the head with a sledge hammer to get their attention and buy your book. 

 

You want to display your book in its most advantageous form, in the best targeted venues, with the right message, intended for its target audience. All that, and still no sale? No, not even close. Well, we're getting closer. We're just priming the senses. Whetting their appetites. Selling the sizzle, as they say in the business.  People are skeptics, especially these days of mass information overload on the internet, cell phones, TV, you name it. Society is flooded with messages, commercials, useless information, all day long. Most people just tune it out, until something relevant and important to them catches their attention. Hopefully, your novel. Now we're on to something.

 

What your book means to your prospective buyer:

It must mean something of value and it should offer or convey a sense of life-changing benefits, at least to an extent. That means it's important to them in ways that other books are not, and that's usually personal, but by design, no less. Once your potential buyer has seen your book advertised and becomes interested in it, for whatever reason, triggering a favorable emotional response towards it, then, and only then, will the seeds of a sale have been planted, and the selling points can begin, in earnest.

 

Sounds like a heck of a long way to go just to make a sale, but these are the hard-proven facts. Don't try to re-invent what's been working since the dawn of civilization. And as an aside to all that, now more than ever, people are prone or inclined to easily "swipe" their credit cards over the internet since it's such an easy, safe, and convenient way to purchase. So in many ways, selling your book is not so impossible after all. It’s impulsive.

 

It's all about the impulse purchase:

You've heard me use this term before. Purchasing by impulse, or triggers. This is how merchants in supermarkets get you to buy all the junk you don't really need at the check-out counter. You buy it mostly because it's your last chance to get it before you check out into your long, lost, dreary world again, while you're still in the buying mode. So you grab stuff, anything, and when you get home you ask yourself why you picked it up to begin with.  The key here to this impulse is not what you want, but what you might miss. Big difference. Therefore, that leads me to the all-important deadline. The last-chance. The do it now or never syndrome. Take it or leave, and possibly regret it, either way.

 

Buying Offers:

I've touched on this before to some extent (link here). You've heard me say that consumers don't buy just products and services. They buy into benefits and offers. Still with me? In other words, they buy into the intangibles of what they expect from the product, as opposed to the tangible product itself. What's in it for me? That's the only question you need to answer at this point. But in order to trigger the sale, the answer must be one of convenience and satisfaction all the way around for the prospective buyer. At this point, they're still undecided. Maybe they need a little more information, more details about your book before they commit to buying. Not so much because they risk losing $14 bucks, but because they don't want you to rip them off. They win, you lose, kind of deal. Bad strategy. Wrong approach.

 

Here's what you need to know:

Give the prospective buyer a good reason to trust you and your by-product, your novel. Assure them of its value and benefits. And then, make it easy for them to come to their own decision about purchasing it and how they would like to pay for it, and when. Hopefully, right now, before the heat of sales battle is over and they forget they're even alive on the planet. And preferably at a discount, if possible. Discounts are bona-fide offers. Use these emotional triggers whenever you can, because they work in the book industry all the time. 

 

Your Platform:

This is just a fancy way of saying who you are and what you believe in. What your core principles are as a person. Can you be trusted with your product or are you just another swindler on the take?  If you're not already positioned in the marketplace as an expert in your field or as an established writer with a positive agenda, don't worry about it. All the things we've already discussed are designed to build and enhance your platform based only on what you're selling and not your proven credentials or what your background is. You have to start somewhere, and your first book can help you establish your platform.

 

Publicity:

Publicity defined is any information about you, readily made available to the public at large. That means, via news clips, newspapers, press kits, tour junkets, and so forth. It's press about you and your book and it must start locally, expand regionally and then blow-up nationally or better.

 

A Brief Wrap-up:

We've briefly gone from product quality, perceived product value, to the all-important impulse buying decision.  We've turned a prospective reader into a customer, and if they like what they get, hopefully, repeat business for the same book or another book you may be trying to sell. And it all started with a great presentation, followed up by meaningful, relevant content, emotional triggers, and lastly, the purchase. You've sold a book. If your book has built-in controversy that may give it marathon legs and chances are you'll be getting good word-of-mouth and more sales as a result for the long-term. Which is what you want after all. But remember, that what you do for one buyer, you can do for millions of interested buyers online. All you have to do is find them. They're everywhere.

 

Targeting Customers:

Targeting customers online can be done in many ways. You can always hire an online ad agency to help you with this and most of them are reasonably priced if you want to test by placing several banners in key websites for an extended period of time. You can do the searches yourself and find all sorts of websites that may be a good place to advertise. Find their rates and compare, then make a test run with your banner ads and feel out the results.

 

Get over it, Publishers will not promote for you...

Unless you're the next John Grisham. So suck it up, put a promotional plan together and go for it with everything you've got. Your success is up to you and how smart you handle the resources at your disposal. This is not rocket science and hopefully, I haven't made it sound that way, but there are some hard and fast rules you must follow if you want to sell your novel in mass quantities. 

Saturation and Repetition:

This sounds like the hard and expensive part, but it is a necessary evil. Your book needs to saturate as many targeted markets as possible, repeatedly. How many times have you seen the same advertisement for a product you liked but had yet to buy it?  This is the reason for repetition of your banner advertising. Preferably with different messages in different venues.

 

Your novel must stand out above all the literary clutter and rise above it all in grand style if you want to be at the top of everyone’s “wish-list”, or better yet, bypass the wish-list altogether, as in the “I’ve got to have it now mentality”-- the impulse. Nothing else will do folks. There are too many books and novels to compete against, and only the smartest and the most resourceful authors will make it through. Rest assured that if you don’t sell millions of books, you’ve geared up for it and maybe you’ve sold 50,000 books instead. Not bad at all. That’s an achievement in today’s tough markets. These are the cold, hard facts. You’ve got to make some noise and make it count.

 

I've outlined most of the important factors that go into developing an effective promotional plan, however, this is just the beginning. Sometimes, people seem to get lucky and strike it rich in this business.  But, I'm here to tell you that they are not luckier than you. Instead, they have adhered to certain criteria, certain standards and have bulldozed every obstacle out of their way.  

 

I think that's what life is all about. Nothing ever comes so easy and nothing so easy is ever worth your while to begin with. Success can happen to you. But only if you make it happen.

 

Any questions?

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Next Monday's Post: The Cormac McCarthy approach to selling your novel. It's not what you think.

 

Your Novel: Fast and Furious, Pithy, Promo Secrets:

PART I

I have not sold one copy of my novel. How's that for an opener? It's true. My debut novel has not sold one lonely copy. It hasn’t officially debuted yet, but I have no worries because I haven't even tried selling either. Not because it doesn't matter to me, but because all the conditions to sell it are not yet in place, so why should I expect sales just because I've got a kick-ass website and a blog to advertise, promote, and market the novel? That doesn't mean a thing folks. It's just exposure, and exposure to you because nobody else has even heard about it yet.

 

The GoogleBots probably haven’t even  spidered your homepage. (Better revise and optimize your META Tags and links.) Exposure to your product, your novel, no matter how slick, is not enough to sell it to anyone, at any given time, ever. But it's a start.  And exposing and presenting your novel to the right group of readers, with effective images and messages is what good promotion is all about.

 

Pull out your Sharpie Highlighter: (But don’t blame me when you streak your monitor with yellow stuff.)

I'm getting a little ahead of myself with this article, but what the heck. I'm inspired to write so here goes. I’m spewing out all my frustrations in a relentless tsunami wave of utterly packed information that’s going to leave your head spinning for days. (Take one reading dose of this Post three times a day until it sinks in. (With booze if you want.) You’re going to feel much better by the end of the week.)

 

Throughout my previous Posts here, I've laid down what I believe are key ingredients in the making of a sale. Sales DNA Formulas, the anatomy of a sale, and so forth. The purpose of this Post is to focus on promotion, which is the prelude to any sales effort. Let’s face it, people just don’t buy anything they see, even when they like it. You have to finesse a sale, and that’s done with effective promos. What’s an effective promo? Any information about your product that leads to a bona-fide sales transaction. How do you finesse it?  You romance it. You make it relevant in an exciting, emotional way. You trigger all the right hot buttons. What are the hot buttons and how do you trigger them? (Bear with me, I’m making these up as I go along.)  

 

Delve into the psyche of your prospective audience and pinpoint what really matters to them.  Then present and project their own wishes and deep desires through your product.  Play-up the factors in your novel that will interest, pique, and motivate prospects to take action and buy. It’s easier than you think. People searching for something to buy, instantly hone-in and are attracted to images and messages that appeal to them, but they want to be sold on it. Don’t slam your book in their face. Just tell them a story about it in the most interesting way possible, and offer it in the most affordable way possible, if you can discount.

 

Question: What is the most powerful way to sell anything? If you're still thinking, you don't know the answer and you might want to keep reading. Unequivocally, the sure-fire way to sell any product is in person. Face-to-face. Period. If a good salesperson is prepared, has done their homework, listens to their customer's needs and wants, and pays attention to their buying power, or lack thereof, they can easily make a sale, most of the time, since many unforeseen factors could affect buying decisions at any given time, as well. (We’ll keep that curve ball out of the equation, since some things, we cannot control.)

 

Okay, great. That's a good one. Does that mean you should pack the trunk of your car with your new novel and start peddling it on the streets? Well, it worked for many a self-published author in the past and I'm sure it could work for you too, but that's not the point. We're not talking about selling a handful of books, or even a fifty thousand. I'm talking about selling millions of copies of your novel. Millions you say? What am I on today? Truth serum, of course. We obviously can't sell face-to-face online but we must try and substitute our personal presence online. And one of the best ways to do that is with photos and/or videos of yourself talking about the benefits your book has to offer. People want to know what's in it for them and they want to hear you say it. Personalize it. Why else would they think of buying from you? Is there really any other reason if they can’t trust you to deliver a good product?

 

What are we selling anyway?

Non-fiction books, of course are in a league all to themselves. They’re written with a specific goal in mind that easily translates into sales pitches, ad copy and even outlandish claims. But what about your novel?  It's just a story isn't it? What exactly are we selling? What tangible benefits do novels sell? That depends on the genre. If you're selling a romance novel, then the mystique of romance and wild nights is for sale.  If you're like me and write Literary Historical, then the fascination with by-gone eras, old customs, and a past way of life is what's for sale, among several other things. Play-up these factors in a meaningful way and tie them in with your premise and themes, and you've got something that readers can cling to and form expectations about. That's a good start, but by no means is it all you'll need to figure out.

 

Let's break this stacked and packed super-coiled DNA strand down because by the time you reach the end of this Post, I need to calm this tidal wave back into the serene waters of a new morning, gently lapping, and caressing your bare feet. Ahh, I needed that moment before the storm. Now hang on for dear life.

 

Brief Anatomy of a Sale 101:

1. First things, first. You must think positive. Yes, it's a cliché, but thinking positive, hoping for the moon, is better than settling for moon dust. By thinking big and positive, you're setting yourself up to succeed and not fail. It's more than wishful thinking folks. The right frame of mind can make the impossible happen. Get in the right frame of mind and stick with it against all odds, and know that when all sales conditions are in their proper place, good stuff starts to happen, and can happen big. Okay, we've got the vital, Tony Robbins portion out of the way, and now that we're in the proper mood, a good vibe, we're ready for specifics.

Product Quality Newsflash:  

2. We're trying to sell a product.  But not just any product. It's your amazing novel. It is amazing, is it not? Great if it is. If it's not, stop reading and revise your ms one more time. (You thought this was going to be easy?)  Actually, the difference between a good, well-received product, and a lame product is the difference between word-of-mouth and repeat sales, and a stagnant product in the marketplace, plus a dubious reputation for its owner. In other words, produce an amazing, useful, in-demand product, and get it out there. Good things will happen. Do otherwise and well, you know, take your losses. Life is too short to lose. Design your book to win. (Major topic for another Post.)

 

 

3. Back already? Good deal, let's move on. (I just flung my revised ms across the room.)

Okay, so where were we? Ahh, yes, your amazing self-published novel. BTW, let's quickly define self-publishing. To me, self-publishing is when you have close to 100 percent control of your book. And by that I mean its cost, its quality, its perceived value. It's all up to you and not up to editors, writing coaches, book designers, and the list is long here folks. Hired help, whether they come from a major SP outfit such as LULU.com, or iUniverse, are only human and can only give you so much for your money with their services. You have the last word, of course, and your book is great when you feel it's great. (Until you get up the next morning and see how far away from production it really is anyway.)

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PART II - I'll Post next Monday folks. You don't want to miss it because I'm going to show you how to circumvent all the negative hype about Self-Publishing and how you can design your novel to be a winner in the publishing game.

World's First Robot Supermodel - Asimo Trips and Falls

She's got butt too, folks.

Can you believe this? Leave it up to Japan to come up with the the world's first female supermodel robot. She's beautiful, but moves like she's got something up her ass, which BTW was the first thing I checked out when she spun around. (It's a guy thing.) I think she could use some dancing lessons from Asimo. That SOB can move, except when he tries to climb stairs without looking. Priceless.

She might already have an agent and is booked solid, I'll bet.  I wonder if she knows any good lit agents that accept email queries? (Oh...the depths of my despair...)

Scroll down for the videos.

Editors/Publishers: How Low is Your Bottom Line?

Is there any hope for new authors?

I recently came across a reputable Blog where the author admits that she’s noticed Lit Agents are holding back writer submissions because editors at major publishing houses are cutting down on what they present to their peers, because editors and publishers refuse to look at any new writer’s work, unless they are positive it will sell, and sell big. But take heed my friends, there is hope.

BTW, is this anything new folks? Not really, except that now more than ever, it has become more apparent and more transparent, that unless you’re the next Stephen King, forget about publication. Publishing houses are rarely taking on any new authors in any genre, especially Literary Fiction. (Lucky me.) In other words, unless you write genre novels, such as romance novels, and mystery/thrillers and so forth, you know the kind, those mass-market paperbacks you find at your local grocery store rack, collecting dust sometimes, then you’re SOL.  Because this kind of stuff is dirt cheap and sells the most. These are the kind of books most women buy, all the time. It’s just that simple. That’s the market. Stop looking anywhere else for answers.

So unless you’re an established author/writer with a built-in, massive fan base, or a new author that’s suddenly broken through and is hailed as the next Faulkner, again folks, you’re SOL. And I suspect that publishers are loving that all the way to the bank since they’re advances are substantially lower these days because of the so-called poor economy.

So then, WTF does that mean to most writers like you and I. You guessed it, don’t think of retirement just yet. Keep your day job in full swing until this lagging economy gets a jolt of optimism from the top and trickles down ever so slightly at your feet. Let’s face it, since gas prices skyrocketed a year ago, the world has not been the same, and its lasting effects on the global economy is finally taking its toll on all industries, large and small. And it may get worse before it gets better folks, so we may as well get used to this new era of cutbacks, layoffs and shrinking paychecks. It’s the beginning of the end of the world. (That was blatant subtext roaring through.) At least it feels that way to some of us.

Although, I don’t hear President Obama complaining about his huge advances and royalties of up to three million for his latest books, so far. Pretty nice take, don’t you think? But there are others to be sure to cash-in on all their celebrity status/political clout, such as former president George W. Bush, who stands to rake in a considerable lump sum himself, once his memoir hits the shelves next year. An expected, or at least guesstimate of about $15 million.  No tears there either. Plenty of smiles and satisfaction, I’m sure.

Several other authors who write genre fiction (you already know their names by heart) also stand to make more money than ever before, now that good, wanted and in-demand writers are in such short supply, because writers of less note and bankable personas are basically out of the picture. That makes even more room for the old tried-and-true at the top, which means more money for them, of course. They’re not crying either. Far from it. They’re the media darlings of literature. The hand-picked golden eggs that always come through for publishers, regardless of the economy. Somebody has to read their work. As far as I know, most people still like a good story. A fine mystery, a thriller, chic-lit trash they can fantasize about before going to bed. That kind of thing.

Attention! Agents, publishers, there are still good, literary fiction writers and stories out there. Many people still read them, me included. I wouldn’t read anything else. But that’s just me, a minority in the readership landscape. For the most part, and I suppose there are exceptions, hardcover novels/books, rarely outsell paperbacks, because of the higher price and cumbersome size. Unless you collect hardcover books like I do. If I like the paperback, I’ll always buy the hardcover edition and save it as a treasure, a memory to read in my reclining chair while I sip on a Mojito. Especially if I like the jacket cover. (It’s a graphic designer thing.) Come to think of it, I’m almost sure that’s why I bought the novel, Sons of God. Plus, I liked its Book Trailer too. (Still trying to get through that story.)

So just when my life seemed to be careening down a bottomless pit, something saved my day, my lonely nights. I had been counting down the days. Amazon.com said it would arrive by the 19^th. The 20^th had come and gone, and no new books in my mailbox. The next day, I carefully opened my mailbox, peeking in, hoping to see a small book box, but instead, I found a flat brown cardboard parcel that barely fit inside the mailbox. What the heck is this, I thought to myself? It can’t be the book I ordered because they usually come in boxes. I looked at the return address and sure enough, it was the book I was expecting. I eagerly opened the package and found Jon Clinche’s new debut novel, Finn, inside.

What the heck is this? I thought again. A 5x8 paperback with 11 point type? I need a magnifier to read this thing. What gives? I’ve been ripped off. This was not the book I ordered. Or was it? It’s the same cover I fell in love with on the B&N website but it’s tiny, and thin. About 298 pages of thin opaque paper and a flimsy book cover to boot. Of course, I was disappointed. With shipping and handling, I paid $15.20 for this small stack of cheap yellow paper that cost them about a buck a-piece to print. Someone is making money somewhere folks. I sure wish it were the new, emerging authors of our time, but that’s just wishful thinking, mind you.

That same night though, I anxiously skimmed through the opening pages of Finn because I had already read portions on B&N and I wanted to get to some other parts to see if stood up to the opening. And let me say that although some readers have criticized Clinch for his copy-cat Faulkner style, I’m enjoying his novel, nonetheless. No, it’s not perfect, and no novel ever is, just as no writer is. Jon Clinch seems fond of the word “upon” for instance, but for the narrator’s tone, which sounds a bit authorial, I still think it works. This is high literature after all. It’s to be expected and enjoyed my friends. This is what excellent writing, and good voice is all about.

I only wish that agents and publishers would finally realize that there’s much more to life than a quick buck. Some of us still enjoy finely written prose and great stories.

I’ll be ordering the hardcover. I already know I like the story, and the jacket cover; that’s chocolate icing on the proverbial cake.

My moment of Zen: Want a shortcut to major book deals? Become the next President of the United States. It’s virtually guaranteed.

Here’s the link to Allison’s Blogpost regarding this topic: Scroll down to March 9 Post.

http://allisonwinnscotch.blogspot.com/